A Terrible Story of Chocolate and Chickpeas

There once was a girl. She was so fond of chocolate and sugar that she ended up really wanting to eat some one day. So she decided to make an actual HEALTHY recipe for chocolate chip cookie dough dip.
Little did she know what fatal mistake she was making.
With her food processor out and a can of chickpeas beside her, the girl continued through the last hours of her life, not knowing something was amiss.
She blended the ingredients and folded in the chocolate chips, then spooned up a single bite to see if her creation was well-made.
As soon as the miraculous mixture passed her lips, her eyes widened in surprise.
Staring down at the dip that lay before her, she slowly cradled the Rubbermaid container to her chest and crooned to it, "Preciousssssss....."
Grabbing the biggest serving spoon in her mother's kitchen drawer, she began scooping up enormous mouthfuls and shoving them in her mouth. With the heavenly brown mixture smeared all over her face, she looked like a gluttonous food critic gone horribly wrong.
She kept eating, and when the mixture was gone, she bolted to the store to buy more ingredients!
She sped through traffic, got thirty-seven servings of all the ingredients, and returned home.
As soon as she arrived home, the possessed child bolted inside to its waiting food processor. Throwing handfuls of chickpeas and chocolate chips onto the whirling blade, it roared in delight.
Shoveling handfuls of dip into its mouth, the monster began to swell. It got bigger and bigger that it crushed its house and family to death, but still it ate.
And ate.
And ate.
The previous-girl-now-monster was so fat that all of a sudden, it burst, shooting out golden splats of cookie dough dip all over the surrounding houses and sidewalks.
And thus died the poor girl, whose named used to be Ashley.
If only she hadn't eaten so much of that heavenly cookie dough dip!
The end.
http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2011/05/23/want-to-eat-an-entire-bowl-of-cookie-dough/